Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
FUCK WHALES
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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