You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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