He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
