I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
