I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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