When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
