Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
