And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
