So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
