You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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