I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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