dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
