I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
