i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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