This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
