I want to make a zoo with you.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
