awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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