Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
