she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
