She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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