so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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