My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
