Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
