This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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