I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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