she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
