every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
