It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
