Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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