? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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