My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
