i was born a porn star she said
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You were trust falling into bushes
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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