and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
