omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
