Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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