She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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