so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My day in three words: secret purse cake
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
