you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
