I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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