White coat. Heels.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
