Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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