You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
