if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
