the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
