i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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