Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
