Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
