it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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