just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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