Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
