Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
