fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just want nice things and good sex
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
