With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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