How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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