i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
