i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
