My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
