i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She bit a glass in half.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
