I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
