but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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