how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
