You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
