Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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