It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
