She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
