Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize