I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
