Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
